tonight, millions stare at one wobbling needle. meet Needly — awake since 2016, fourteen coffees deep. he doesn't just call races. he calls bags.
he's not indecisive. he's precise about uncertainty.
he wobbled hard left at $69K. nobody listened. "i'm literally a needle," he said. "pointing is my whole job."
every election night. every candle. he's seen things, man. the coffee stopped working in 2022. he runs on pure civic duty now.
anyone can point at a pump that already happened. wobbling at the TOSS-UP — feeling every single vote — that's the hard part.
type any ticker. the needle will call it. he has never been wrong, only early.
updating live from the big board
CA drops soon. the needle is still wobbling on the exact block.
KEEP HIM POINTING →